Friends

I've had a lot of opportunity to think lately about friendship. Random thoughts mostly, not very connected and not very neat.

Recently a friend of my daughter's (that she's had for over 7 years) decided that she no longer had an interest in dd (ostensibly because dd is not old enough and she is now interested in being friends only with girls *older* than her) and that she (the former friend) would not be spending any time with her (dd) anymore. A shocking, hurtful blow to dd... and an opportunity for lots of learning.

Also, I realized recently that my dh is really & truly my best friend. (I don't know if I'm his, but that probably doesn't really matter.) I don't actually have many good women friends -- or what I would call good friends. One or two, maybe. (Not counting my sisters who are and will always also be my best friends. Goes without sayin'.)

I have several women friends who seem to like me well enough, but honestly I think maybe our relationship is really just all about them. They never ask me much about my life or concerns or thoughts or questions or dreams. When we get together we talk about them. They are pretty needy and I seem to meet their needs somehow. When I try to change the subject to something I've been thinking or wondering about it usually gets changed rather quickly back to them and whatever their current issue is. Dh and I have decided I seem to attract people like this.

One of my homeschooling mom-friends is currently struggling with the loss of her long-time friend and next-door neighbor who is moving to another state. It's crushing her. My sister has suffered the losses of several good friends over the last 10 years, either to out-of-state moves or other unforseen circumstances. It seems like really good friends come and go. Is it our culture, or something else?

A few years ago I told a friend that I could no longer be her friend. This is haunting me right now, due to the pain my dd is currently feeling. This particular friend was draining me beyond my ability to cope. She was always in a crisis and always needed me in a way that I felt I just couldn't respond to. I just couldn't do it any longer and told her so. Unfortunately a complete break was the only way I could deal with it at the time. I have realized lately that it might have been better if I could have thought of something else... I realize I probably hurt her very deeply.

So, I'm back to my question. What *is* a friend?

Does the Bible talk about friendship at all? What does God intend for us in friendship?

I know there are only like about 3.5 readers of this blog and one is my dh so he doesn't count. (Well at least as a blog reader he doesn't.) So I don't really expect any comments. I guess I just had to put my thoughts and questions out there.

I will probably delete this post tomorrow anyway.