I think maybe we are finally coming out of mourning.
A little over two years ago we made a decision to leave our ECUSA parish, the church we'd loved since 1997 and in which all three of our children were baptized. Though we believed it was absolutely the thing to do it was still painful and we had no idea where we were headed instead.
Since then we've been attending a PCUSA church in the other town (before we turned right out of our road, now we turn left...) and wondering when it wouldn't hurt and when we'd feel "at home" again.
Though I can't say I feel completely "at home" I think we are are finally coming to a place of peace where we are. Huge in this is that we've all found some kind of smaller context within the larger church body in which we are finding friends, comfort, a place to talk and engage ideas & struggles. I love my Sunday School class, for ex. My dh is meeting each Sunday with some other thinking-types and they are working out theological ideas, reading through books, etc. Though the youth group is not working out, ds and older dd are finding their place and making a friend or two. It helped when ds went on the missions trip this summer. Younger dd has adjusted fine, she's usually happy wherever she is (unless she's not *grin*). I started back with Choir last night -- it's so good to sing and I love our director.
I can't say whether we'll member, though this is a decision we need to face & make! I think we're all finding it hard to put on the "I'm a Presbyterian" hat. I told the pastor in a meeting a few weeks ago that I feel like our family is "living together" with the church ("marrying" it would be membering...) Not sure that's a good picture but he seemed to think so.
My testimony then is that God has blessed our family and is continuing to bless us even through difficult circumstances. He has provided opportunities for the children that are bringing them friends and a sense of connectedness when for a long time we & they felt cut off, lonely, and unsure of where to turn next. He has encouraged us by giving us things we want. As I told ds last night, he's taken care of us.
I'm not saying all is peachy and everything is perfect. (Who can say that?) In fact, there are some things that are really *not* the way I'd like them to be. (For ex., in this particular church the school culture is rampant. But that's probably for another post... ) I am saying God is faithful and I can see some beauty rising from ashes. We've all learned. I expect more learning is on its way.
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3 comments:
Right now church is the bane of our existence. It is so hard to fit somewhere and no place is perfect, which we are ok with.
But to find an Anglican church where we live!!! Argh!!! All we want and feel the need for is liturgy, and it is hard to find without Pastor Sally or something like that.
It is good to hear that you are connecting and getting your needs met. At least our unity in heaven will be sweet because all of the beautiful things we experience here will be in one condensed forever.
Oh yes, I know about missing liturgy... at this point I think we are at peace with that loss. But it's a tough one!! I must admit I add the little phrases and change things in my head sometimes. For ex. when the pastor says "Go in peace to love and serve the Lord" as the benediction, I respond with "Thanks be to God" under my breath though noone else in the room does.
Strange and stubborn, that I am.
I hope you can find a place to land soon!!
I remember their baptisms...
I'm glad you're settling in, even if you're not at home in your new church yet.
I've always been impressed that you were ready to jump in and get involved in a new church. I don't feel up to trying that yet.
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